Chapter 32

There were many things she wanted to say.

But she chose peaceful silence instead.

Because the person who needed to hear those words was Lydia from before the regression, and now, it was useless.

It was true that knowing Lydia, who she thought was dead, was actually alive gave her comfort. It also helped lessen the guilt she always carried, even if just a little.

But that was all.

It could not be anything more or less than a fact of the past that had already disappeared. That was how it was now.

Asilie decided to forget the complicated emotions of the past. There were other things she needed to focus on.

“Is everything I asked for ready?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Madam Marce placed a tray in front of her.

Her eyesight had not fully returned, so things still looked blurry, but she could tell by the shape that it was a teapot and a pouch of tea leaves.

“You did well.”

“No, ma’am. I’m just… truly sorry. This happened because I failed to properly check the tea being served to you.”

“If someone planned it, how could you have known?”

“But still, I was the one who put you in danger with my own hands. It’s a mistake I can never erase.”

Though she spoke firmly, her voice was soaked with tears of guilt.

Asilie couldn’t clearly see Madam Marce’s face, but she realized the woman was crying.

She sighed at the fact that the forces targeting both Esperad and herself were causing suffering not only to them but also to those around them.

It was truly tiring and annoying.

“Rosetta.”

“……….”

“Rosetta, listen to me. It’s foolish to blame yourself for things you couldn’t help. What you should do now is just be more careful so that nothing like this happens again. Isn’t that right?”

“But still…”

“If you think that way, I also drank that tea without a second thought. Doesn’t that make me the most at fault?”

“You did nothing wrong, ma’am!”

“What I mean is, let’s not waste time blaming each other for no reason. The real culprit is already gone, so what good is it for those left to argue among themselves?”

The maid who brought the tea leaves and the kitchen maid had both disappeared.

There had been spies among the servants, lying in wait for the right moment—not just Benjamin.

It was Madam Marce’s failure as the one managing the servants, but it was also Asilie’s failure as the one in charge of the household.

“I’m ashamed to have shown such weakness. I’ll do my best to find anything suspicious from now on, ma’am.”

“I trust you. Now go and rest. You must have suffered a lot emotionally.”

“Please take care of yourself, and call me anytime if you need anything.”

Madam Marce bowed deeply and left the room.

Only then did Asilie, now alone, let out a deep sigh and fix her eyes on the tray that had been brought in.

“It’s definitely the same poison.”

The symptoms this time seemed to come on faster than they had before the regression, but she could still tell.

The poison Joseph Bonaparte used to try to kill her while she was pregnant was the same as the one used in this attack.

There were countless types of poison in the world, each used for different purposes. So this couldn’t just be a coincidence.

“But even so, it can’t be Count Bonaparte behind this. I’m sure of it.”

He did have a motive. Joseph had faced trouble after being brought before the Noble Council because of what happened at the palace banquet.

But it was still a problem that could have been solved through conversation and compromise. There was no need to send an assassin and do something so dangerous.

“Unless he’s secretly supporting Count Mirk, the real mastermind.”

That was certainly possible.

Count Mirk had the trust of most conservative nobles. For Count Bonaparte, it would make more sense politically to support Count Mirk, who he had always gotten along with, rather than Esperad, whose beliefs were different.

But even that guess had flaws.

As far as Asilie knew, Count Bonaparte hated taking risks.

Would he really distribute poison, something clearly illegal in this country, just to support Count Mirk?

Asilie felt a headache coming on.

Everything she thought she knew now seemed suspicious. She couldn’t even be sure about what she had once believed.

Esperad, who married Siena, gained the right to succeed the throne after the wedding. But when he married Asilie, he gained nothing.

So she couldn’t trust her limited knowledge, which only understood the surface of things.

Maybe marriage wasn’t the requirement to gain succession rights—maybe it was age or something else. Or maybe Esperad had done something in secret that no one knew about.

It would be good to talk with him about it, but while she knew about the future, Esperad had no idea what was going to happen.

So if she brought it up, it would seem strange.

“Haa…”

What was it that seemed so close, yet always out of reach?

Asilie felt like she was missing something.

That only made her more anxious and frustrated.

“Enough. Don’t think about it. I should focus on the poison instead…”

At that moment, Esperad’s words suddenly flashed through her mind.

“Violeta was found in the lake, but when they did an autopsy, they found she hadn’t drowned. She was poisoned first, then thrown into the lake.”

Come to think of it, Asilie had seen the last moments of the Count of Gariburn’s daughter. And even though it was her first time seeing her, she had felt strangely familiar.

She hadn’t thought about why. Back then, she had been confused just by the fact that she had returned to the past.

But what if the poison used on the Gariburn lady was the same as the one Joseph had used before the regression? And because the symptoms were similar, it had felt familiar?

Asilie closed her eyes to think carefully about what happened back then.

What was it like when she held her hand?

The Gariburn lady had reached out with trembling hands and barely held hers.

Her voice?

It had cracked and sounded like water was stuck in her throat. Maybe it was the sound of blood flowing backward after death.

Her complexion?

She had been deathly pale—so much that even a stranger would want to help her.

She had looked unstable, had trouble breathing, and walked strangely. Like a puppet hanging from a string.

But all of this was just a guess based on memory. She couldn’t be sure.

And the dead couldn’t speak.

“Wait.”

Asilie remembered something she had already dismissed as an old matter.

After the first attack, she had secured the teapot and, with Duke Grandier’s help, discovered that it was poisoned.

If the poison that killed the Gariburn lady, the one used in this attack, and the one in the teapot were the same, then finding the source of the poison might lead them to whoever was behind it.

“If that’s true…”

Asilie decided to send a letter to Duke Grandier first.

With Esperad away, there was no telling what hardships might come. So, feeling around carefully, Asilie slowly got up from her seat.

The sooner she acted, the better.

He had already prepared himself, but there were far more things to deal with in the territory than he had expected.

First, Esperad completed the dam construction that had started two years ago to prepare for the droughts that came every summer.

Next, after checking five years of weather records, he selected the most suitable crops and ordered the seeds to be distributed to the people.

Those were the two biggest tasks, but even just those kept him from sleeping properly for several days.

Even though they were done, it didn’t mean he could rest.

After that, he had to inspect the territory’s spending to see if there were any wasteful expenses or unused budget allocations.

“Master, are you skipping lunch again today?”

“A light snack will do.”

“I’ll prepare it. Also, may I return the records from two years ago to the archive now?”

“I guess you’re cleaning the archive. You can return last year’s records too. I just need to check the ones up to early this year.”

“I’ll do as you said, Master.”

 It was such a bothersome job.

But after learning that Benjamin, whom he had trusted for years, was a spy, he had to suspect all the work Benjamin had done.

Just reviewing the records was enough to check for mistakes.

Even for someone like Benjamin, handling the Medici mansion in the capital while also creating double books in the territory would have been difficult.

Knowing that, Esperad checked the records one by one, day and night.

He hadn’t been able to rest in the capital or in the territory, and though fatigue piled up, there was one reason he couldn’t slow down.

 ‘I can’t leave her alone for too long.’

 He had sworn to protect Asilie.

Of course, her being left alone in the capital was due to unavoidable circumstances, and Edgar was with her, but he still couldn’t feel at ease.

Sometimes it felt like everyone else was fine, and only he was panicking.

Still, even if he was being overly sensitive, he wanted to return to Asilie as soon as possible.

Only then could this anxious feeling settle.

 Knock, knock—

 At the sound of knocking, Esperad lifted his head.

It seemed too early for the snack—had time passed already?

With a confused expression, he looked toward the door and gave permission to enter. A man dressed in knight’s uniform rushed in.

“Sir Gaut?”

He was supposed to be guarding the Medici mansion.

Esperad looked at him strangely, not understanding why Got had come to the territory.

“What’s going on? Why are you here when you should be in the capital…?”

“There was an attack.”

“What?”

“Miss Lydia came to see Madam and witnessed the situation. The knights rushed in and were able to save her, but Madam was paralyzed by poison.”

 Esperad staggered.

Another attack, and Asilie was poisoned.

Even if the intruder had been defeated by the knights, the poison couldn’t be undone.

His heart raced unnaturally fast and his hands trembled. This wasn’t the first time “poison” had happened to him.

Even Violeta, whom he swore to protect, fell to poison.

“So, what about Asilie?”

“Pardon?”

“I’m asking what happened after she was paralyzed.”

“Well… I’m sorry. I left right after the situation was under control to inform you, so I don’t know what happened to Madam after that.”

Got had simply said he didn’t know, but to Esperad, it sounded completely different.

He imagined her lying still, pale, without any movement.

As that vague memory filled in the image of Asilie dead, Esperad felt a pain like his heart was tearing apart.

Unable to endure the sudden pain, he clutched his chest.

 “…No, this can’t be.”

“Sir?”

“This can’t be. No, this can’t be happening.”

He couldn’t accept it. He absolutely couldn’t.

Asilie must not die. He couldn’t lose her like the other fiancées.

How could this happen to her?

He clearly remembered her saying nothing would happen and asking him to trust her.

She had even comforted him with a smile when he was anxious.

She did—she really did…

Even he, who had denied her bold confidence, had half believed her.

And now, he felt so betrayed it stabbed his chest.

 “Ah…”

Without realizing it, tears flowed from his eyes.

It felt disgusting and dirty to think like this in such a situation, but still, he thought:

Not Asilie. It can’t be Asilie. Even if he had to let everyone else go, not her—not like this.

He looked pathetic, but he didn’t even have the mind to care about that.

A suppressed groan escaped his lips in agony.

Esperad couldn’t forgive himself—his powerless self.

It was too painful to bear. He couldn’t protect himself with usual logic.

He felt endlessly pathetic.

What was this even for? Why did he choose to be away from her because of territory work?

 “How long… has it been?”

 It wasn’t a full question, but Got understood what he meant and answered right away.

“It’s been exactly four days since the attack.”

“You came at full speed, then. Follow me slowly. I’ll leave right now.”

“No, wait…”

Got tried to say something, but Esperad wiped his wet face without care and left the office right away.

He headed straight for the stable, but suddenly stopped in the middle of the hallway.

Then he changed direction and went to the room Benjamin had used when staying in the territory.

 When Esperad first arrived, the servants said they hadn’t received orders about Benjamin’s room, so they hadn’t cleaned it, and asked what to do with it.

Esperad had postponed the decision until after his work was done, then completely forgot.

But now he remembered—Benjamin was closely connected to whoever was behind all this.

Could there be a clue about the attack? About the mastermind?

Or maybe from the first attack on their wedding night, if he had the poisoned teapot, or—even if unlikely—a possible antidote?

Esperad wanted to believe that Asilie was still alive and holding on.

If she was already gone, then he felt like he’d lose and give up on everything.

He wouldn’t be able to live normally.

She, that beautiful person, had already become too meaningful in his heart.

‘So please…’

 Esperad roughly searched Benjamin’s drawers, shelves, and closet.

Then he found something in the inside pocket of a jacket hanging in the closet.

It wasn’t the medicine bottle or herb pouch he hoped for.

It was just a letter.

But it was not something he could ignore.

The envelope only had the name “Benjamin Ost” written on it—nothing else. That made him feel it was something very important.

Esperad ripped the seal open so hard it almost tore the envelope.

Inside, there was no signature or seal that revealed identity, but it wasn’t a fruitless effort.

Block access to that room as much as possible.

Check from time to time and destroy any documents left behind.

The content wasn’t easy to understand right away, but he could tell one thing from the handwriting.

The writer of the letter was Cartel Mirk—his father’s close friend, his cousin.

Esperad stared at the letter, eyes wide, not even breathing.

He knew he had no time to waste, but couldn’t help it.

At this moment, the one who had tormented him, his fiancées, and Asilie finally became clear.

A truly wicked and heartless man.

Or should he call him merciful? Despite harming all his fiancées and even Asilie, he had never directly threatened Esperad.

Even though he had suspected Mirk, he never believed it because there seemed no reason.

Even if Hort was in a coma, Mirk was next in line. So why would he do this?

Even if he felt threatened, Count Mirk would have known that Esperad had no interest in the throne.

Then why? Why!

“Haha… hahaha…”

He had been completely fooled.

If Count Mirk was someone who couldn’t tolerate even a 1% chance, then this might make sense.

If a royal kills another royal and is caught, all royal rights and succession rights are stripped away.

So even if he felt threatened, maybe he didn’t want to take the risk and chose to kill Esperad’s fiancées—and now his wife.

His boiling blood slowly cooled.

Esperad shoved the cursed letter into his pants pocket and headed straight to the stable.

He knew—now he really had no time to waste.

His body was slow, but his heart had already arrived.

To the person who had become his reason for living.

To the only one who could calm his heart.

No—

To the foolish master of his heart, whom he had only now clearly realized.