Chapter 29

It was Monday, the day Esperad was leaving for the estate.

The couple had been busy with their own work lately.

Today was no different.

Esperad left early in the morning to attend a meeting at the royal palace, while Asilie, who had only fallen asleep late at night after poring over the ledger, didn’t open her eyes until long after he had left the bedroom.

“Haaah…”

Asilie stretched and turned to her side.

Lately, she hadn’t seen Esperad’s face at all. And starting this afternoon, even those brief moments they shared would disappear.

‘It feels strange.’

She was the one who had declined his offer to go down to the estate together.

But knowing that Esperad was leaving made her feel unexpectedly sad.

It was the first time since they became husband and wife that they were going to be apart for so long, but even so, it felt odd.

Joseph had also gone down to the estate for a few months before under Count Bonaparte’s orders, but she hadn’t felt this way back then.

After thinking for a while, Asilie came to a conclusion: unlike when she was married to Joseph, now her life was under threat—maybe that was why she felt this way. With that, she got out of bed and began to prepare.

There wasn’t much she needed to pack for Esperad.

Just a few simple snacks, water, a book to read, a blanket, some clothes—things he might need during the carriage ride to the estate.

Besides, it was the servants’ job to load the luggage, so there really wasn’t anything she had to do.

Still, Asilie spent time checking the carriage and going over the luggage, doing things that even she knew were inefficient.

Around noon, Esperad returned to the Medici mansion after finishing his meeting.

“You’re back?”

“Yes. Seems like preparations aren’t fully done yet.”

Esperad’s face clearly showed his exhaustion from rushing to finish his work before leaving for the estate.

“Once the luggage is loaded onto the carriage, you’ll be able to leave. Would you like to eat something in the meantime?”

“I’m fine. I don’t think eating before such a long ride would be good for my stomach.”

“Then how about some tea?”

“That’s alright too.”

Asilie knew he was tired.

But it still hurt a little that he cut off the conversation so quickly when they wouldn’t see each other for a long time.

She wasn’t sure, but it felt like he was being cold to her.

“Did I… do something wrong?”

Asilie asked carefully.

They would be apart for quite a while, and she didn’t want to part ways while holding a misunderstanding.

Only then did Esperad realize how his behavior might have come across to her, and he quickly shook his head.

“No, it’s not that. Just…”

He hesitated, unsure how to explain the tangled feelings inside him.

Asilie waited patiently without pressing him, giving him time to gather his words.

“It’s because I’m anxious. Being away from you for so long.”

A moment later, Esperad finally spoke.

“…Anxious?”

“I’m afraid I might lose someone again in a situation where I can’t do anything. That thought makes me anxious and scared. I think that’s why I’ve been feeling low.”

There had already been two attacks, and if he hadn’t been there, Asilie would have been helpless.

Because the situations had been so dangerous and urgent, he couldn’t relax.

Esperad had also begun to suspect something from experience—his enemies weren’t actually targeting him directly.

“Don’t worry so much. Sir Villian will protect me while you’re away.”

“I’m not so sure.”

“What exactly are you worried about? I won’t do anything you don’t want me to. I’ll avoid dangerous or reckless actions.”

“Whether you do or don’t, danger can still come to you, Asilie.”

Esperad covered his face with his large hands and rubbed it.

He thought it was pathetic to show this weak side of himself to his wife, but he couldn’t hold back his emotions.

“I found out I was caught up in some conspiracy only after Lady Cassnut died. After that, I got engaged to Violeta, the younger sister of my close friend.”

Violeta Gariburn. That was the name of the woman Asilie had seen in the dark hallway on the day of the incident.

She had seemed like just a pitiful woman sacrificed to someone’s greed, but ever since the women at the theater whispered about her being Esperad’s lover, she had been on Asilie’s mind.

“After I learned there was a threat, I thought I could protect her. I reinforced the security at the Gariburn estate with troops from the Medici duchy, and I spent more time with Violeta to protect her myself.”

“…”

“More than a vow, I just didn’t want anyone else to die because of me. But even with all that preparation, when the accident happened, I couldn’t do anything.”

His face twisted in pain.

Esperad always showed this devastated expression whenever he remembered the women who died because of him.

Seeing him like that broke Asilie’s heart even more.

It felt wrong and unfair that he suffered with guilt for something he hadn’t done.

The ones who had truly committed the evil acts probably didn’t feel even a shred of remorse.

“Violeta was found dead in a lake, but the autopsy revealed she didn’t drown. She had been poisoned and then dumped in the lake. I briefly wondered if that was less painful than drowning, but even that thought felt…”

The pain from that day came back so clearly that he couldn’t control his emotions.

In the end, Esperad couldn’t finish his sentence and had to pause to calm himself.

“I really… couldn’t do anything. Even though just the day before, we were laughing and talking together.”

“Esperad, you know it wasn’t your fault.”

“I’ve known Violeta since she was a child. Losing her… it felt like I was dying too.”

His voice trembled.

He hadn’t wanted to show this pathetic side to Asilie, but now everything had unraveled.

Esperad closed his eyes, as if making a confession.

“That’s why I was so angry when you proposed marriage to me. It felt like you were mocking my pain. Like my failures… and the deaths of my fiancées had become a joke to someone.”

“You’re not a failure.”

“No, Asilie.”

“No. You’re really not.”

Asilie shook her head.

She didn’t want him to keep saying things that hurt himself.

“You said danger can come regardless of my actions. Then it’s the same for your abilities. The danger came no matter what you did. There’s no way you could’ve checked every meal and every cup of tea Lady Gariburn had.”

“I should have.”

“Not even a god could’ve done that.”

“Then maybe it’ll be the same this time. If something happens to you… the only thing I’ll be able to do…”

“Nothing will happen. No bad thing is going to happen.”

Asilie said firmly and grabbed his hand.

Esperad looked at her in surprise at the sudden warmth.

“Believe in me, Esperad. Really, nothing will happen. Everything will be okay.”

They stood there facing each other, holding hands for a long time.

Soon after, a servant came to inform them that the carriage was ready, and they naturally let go of each other’s hands and walked outside like nothing had happened.

“Have a safe trip.”

It was an ordinary farewell.

Asilie thought he would respond with something equally ordinary.

But what came out of Esperad’s mouth was unexpected.

“I’ll miss you.”

“…What?”

“I often had thoughts like that, even while we were together.”

Asilie didn’t understand what he meant right away and quietly looked at him.

“If we don’t want to sleep outside, we have to leave now. It’s a shame we can’t spend more time together or talk more.”

“…I feel the same way.”

After hearing her response, Esperad looked at her without saying anything for a moment, then suddenly hugged her.

It was just a light hug, but Asilie was so surprised that her eyes widened.

There had been physical contact when she was in danger or when he escorted her, but never without a reason.

“I’ll come back soon.”

Esperad didn’t explain his action and turned around.

Asilie stood there absentmindedly until the carriage departed, then barely managed to return to her room.

It felt strange.

Really, very strange.

Not because of Esperad’s action, but because of her reaction.

After all the deep conversations they had shared and all the wishes for each other’s safety, a hug wasn’t unreasonable.

No, even without that, it was something perfectly normal for a married couple.

Even knowing that, her heart shook.

She felt hot, her heart pounded, and even after some time passed, she couldn’t calm down.

In the end, Asilie couldn’t get anything done that day and let Monday slip away.

Sophia had been very busy lately.

Since the season had changed, she had to prepare new dresses for Asilie.

If Asilie had any spare dresses, Sophia wouldn’t be this busy, but surprisingly, Asilie didn’t own even a single summer dress.

She had been adopted into the Grandier ducal family in early winter, and before that, she was the daughter of a poor family who barely had enough to eat. So it made sense she had no dresses.

But Sophia, who didn’t know about that past, was shocked for a long time and soon dedicated all her time to making dresses for Asilie.

Sophia loved her work, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t hard.

Still, there were days like today when her efforts shined, and that’s probably what kept her from getting tired.

“How about this dress? The sky blue mixed with a bit of gray looks cool but also gives a sense of weight and elegance. I want to recommend this one.”

Sophia held out a graceful dress in front of Asilie.

It was perfect for attending an exhibition.

It had some exposure at the top to match the summer weather, but the wide skirt made it look refined rather than revealing.

It was a design that suited Asilie’s gentle appearance very well.

Sophia was confident that the moment Asilie wore this dress, she would look extremely elegant.

“I’m fine with anything.”

“You can’t say that. You need to tell me clearly whether you like something or not so I can use it as a reference when I make dresses in the future.”

Asilie said that because she truly liked it, but Sophia seemed to think she wasn’t serious and scolded her.

With no choice, Asilie looked again at the dresses Sophia had hung up.

“…The one you recommended is nice. The sky blue one.”

“Since the weather is hot, I think you should tie up your hair and secure it with a fancy jeweled pin. Keep the makeup minimal, and because of the exposed areas, wear a bit more jewelry to spread out attention.”

Sophia spoke passionately, but sadly, Asilie didn’t understand a word of it.

“Mm, I think that’s a good idea too.”

Still, Asilie was someone who could learn.

At the very least, she wouldn’t exhaust herself again by giving the same kind of vague answer.

Anyway, Sophia’s choice was usually the right one. It was something that would become clear once everything was ready.

“Do you like it?”

After finishing the makeup, Sophia showed her the mirror.

“Since you started helping me, there hasn’t been a single time I didn’t like how I looked.”

“Hohoho, my lady, you really know how to light a fire in my heart with your compliments. That’s why I can never rest!”

Asilie didn’t think even her praise could stop Sophia, but she didn’t bother saying that out loud and ruin her mood.

Wearing a small diamond necklace, Asilie had a final check with Sophia, then headed to the studio in the shopping district.

Unlike other social gatherings, exhibitions had unique rules.

First, the host greeted guests through their work. Then the guest, after viewing the artwork, gave a brief review and handed over a gift along with their thanks.

There were many types of social events in Astell, but Asilie found exhibitions the most bothersome and annoying.

Anyone who had attended even once would probably agree with her.

Even so, exhibitions continued because nobles believed they were meaningful enough to put up with the hassle.

Or maybe, they secretly hoped that one day they too could host such an exhibition and be treated the same way.

Thinking all of this was annoying, Asilie quickly glanced at the painting hanging in the center of the studio.

“Hmm…”

It was surprisingly high quality.

Even though the Santerre-style painting technique had only recently come to Astell, the completed painting showed it had been skillfully applied.

Indeed, the artist had the skill to hold an exhibition.

Asilie was quietly impressed and began looking for Countess Proud.

It wasn’t long before she found her, surrounded by people.

“Countess Proud.”

When Asilie called out and approached her, Countess Proud turned toward her.

“Oh my, Duchess. You came.”

“Thank you for inviting me to such a wonderful exhibition, madam. The artwork was so excellent that I enjoyed every moment of it.”

Asilie smoothly complimented the work and handed over the prepared gift. A maid accepted it and stepped back behind the countess.

“I’m already touched just by your visit, and you even brought a gift! Thank you so much. Hohoho.”

Up to this point, everything was normal.

But just as Asilie was thinking of leaving and returning to the Medici mansion, Countess Proud asked her a question.

“By the way, Duchess, which one of my pieces do you think was so excellent? I’m very curious about your opinion. Hohohoho.”

Asilie was caught off guard by the condescending tone in her voice and stared at the countess.

In her eyes, there was a clear sign of malice.